Hello again! Welcome back to Sarcasm News Tonight! Tonight on our report we will be reporting about the Music of today vs. the 1950's music. Now, we have noted that music of today is much different from the music back in the 1950's. Nowadays, we hear Justin Bieber on the radio singing songs about asking girls what they mean, and other songs all about bases. We used to hear great songs on the radio, such as Michael Jackson singing Beat It and Smooth Criminal, and The Beatles singing Hey Jude and Twist and Shout. What happened to these great songs? It is reported today that the music of today will be battling against the 1950's music.
Okay, well a lot of you like the new music, but some think the old music is way better than the new music. However, in this report the music of today will be battling with the 1950's music. So, we just heard a first shooting from the music of today by Justin Bieber. Justin's crazy grandfather, named Elvis Presley took out his gun and shot Justin Bieber right up his ass. Justin Bieber yanked out a wedgie from his underwear and split out Baby, Baby record bullets right at Elvis Presley, but Elvis took out an old photo of his famous girlfriend Marilyn Monroe. Justin Bieber didn't give up yet, but his BFF Miley Cyrus showed up and twerked on Marilyn Monroe. Meanwhile, Marilyn came to life and showed sexy dance moves to Miley Cyrus, and Miley fell down. Justin was not about to give up yet, so he called me Selena Gomez maybe! Selena Gomez shot her first bullet to Elvis and Marilyn, but Elvis caught the burning bullet and splat out his Hunka Hunka Burning Love. Marilyn Monroe showed her love for Carl Perkins and Carl shot out his famous love songs to Justin, Selena, and Miley. Selena admitted that she was in love with Justin, and they both shot their Cupid bullets towards Elvis, Marilyn, and Carl. Elvis fell in love with Marilyn from being shot by the magic Cupid bullet and played classic records to her of Dion and the Belmonts, (The Wanderer and A Teenager in Love) to Justin, Selena, and Miley. Justin fell in love with Selena again, and Miley started her army, and undressed herself as Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus both shot a bullet to Elvis, Marilyn, Carl, and Dion. However, Marilyn Monroe started twerking, and Hannah Montana was defeated, but Miley Cyrus got a wrecking ball and farted, and Marilyn Monroe smelled it, and she farted on Elvis. Elvis shot Miley Cyrus with his classic record of "You're the Devil in Disguise", and Miley Cyrus was assassinated, and out of the disguise came Satan. Satan called Jesus Christ, and Jesus played his electric guitar straight up Justin and Selena's ears, and out of Selena's costume popped Adolf Hitler, and out of Justin's costume popped Barack Obama. Jesus and Satan sent the two demons to Hell and pushed the Devil back into his hole. Jesus and Elvis played their victory song by Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven". All the characters danced together while Jesus disappeared back into Heaven and said goodbye to his rock and roll brother Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Carl Perkins, and Dion and the Belmonts. The war was finally over, and music remained the same ever more!
So, that is all. And remember that the Devil is watching you, and Jesus still loves you! Music will always be music no matter what year it is, and Elvis our Lord is still playing his guitar up in heaven! So, that's all for Sarcasm News Tonight. Have a sarcastic day!
This report is a proud production of Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C) 2015 Sarcasm News Tonight
(C) 2015 Sarcastic Productions
The End
Matty Iannielli
Okay, well a lot of you like the new music, but some think the old music is way better than the new music. However, in this report the music of today will be battling with the 1950's music. So, we just heard a first shooting from the music of today by Justin Bieber. Justin's crazy grandfather, named Elvis Presley took out his gun and shot Justin Bieber right up his ass. Justin Bieber yanked out a wedgie from his underwear and split out Baby, Baby record bullets right at Elvis Presley, but Elvis took out an old photo of his famous girlfriend Marilyn Monroe. Justin Bieber didn't give up yet, but his BFF Miley Cyrus showed up and twerked on Marilyn Monroe. Meanwhile, Marilyn came to life and showed sexy dance moves to Miley Cyrus, and Miley fell down. Justin was not about to give up yet, so he called me Selena Gomez maybe! Selena Gomez shot her first bullet to Elvis and Marilyn, but Elvis caught the burning bullet and splat out his Hunka Hunka Burning Love. Marilyn Monroe showed her love for Carl Perkins and Carl shot out his famous love songs to Justin, Selena, and Miley. Selena admitted that she was in love with Justin, and they both shot their Cupid bullets towards Elvis, Marilyn, and Carl. Elvis fell in love with Marilyn from being shot by the magic Cupid bullet and played classic records to her of Dion and the Belmonts, (The Wanderer and A Teenager in Love) to Justin, Selena, and Miley. Justin fell in love with Selena again, and Miley started her army, and undressed herself as Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus both shot a bullet to Elvis, Marilyn, Carl, and Dion. However, Marilyn Monroe started twerking, and Hannah Montana was defeated, but Miley Cyrus got a wrecking ball and farted, and Marilyn Monroe smelled it, and she farted on Elvis. Elvis shot Miley Cyrus with his classic record of "You're the Devil in Disguise", and Miley Cyrus was assassinated, and out of the disguise came Satan. Satan called Jesus Christ, and Jesus played his electric guitar straight up Justin and Selena's ears, and out of Selena's costume popped Adolf Hitler, and out of Justin's costume popped Barack Obama. Jesus and Satan sent the two demons to Hell and pushed the Devil back into his hole. Jesus and Elvis played their victory song by Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven". All the characters danced together while Jesus disappeared back into Heaven and said goodbye to his rock and roll brother Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Carl Perkins, and Dion and the Belmonts. The war was finally over, and music remained the same ever more!
So, that is all. And remember that the Devil is watching you, and Jesus still loves you! Music will always be music no matter what year it is, and Elvis our Lord is still playing his guitar up in heaven! So, that's all for Sarcasm News Tonight. Have a sarcastic day!
This report is a proud production of Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C) 2015 Sarcasm News Tonight
(C) 2015 Sarcastic Productions
The End
Matty Iannielli