Hello, welcome back to Sarcasm News Tonight! Tonight on our report we will be reporting about if Disney Channel is on drugs. So, Disney Channel has a lot of stupid shows, and we think that Disney Channel may be on drugs. Maybe Disney Channel is teaching our children about drugs and sexual relations. If this is called "Disney Channel", then why doesn't it show things that are related to Walt Disney? Walt Disney is the famous man who created this channel for a reason that is totally forgotten nowadays! So tonight we will be reporting about Disney Channel on drugs.
Okay, well Disney Channel is a TV channel for little girly girls and teenage girls. Disney Channel has countless TV shows dedicated to teenage girls ages 8-19, and the stars are like 10 years older than the audience. Disney Channel has been on drugs ever since 2007, when the classic Disney TV show House of Mouse was cancelled and replaced with a horrible teen sitcom called Hannah Montana. Now, Hannah Montana caused the tragic death of Mickey Mouse (Disney's former legend). In the early 2000's, a classic cartoon from Disney Channel was on TV. It was called House of Mouse. It starred the famous Disney icon, Mickey Mouse. Now, House of Mouse was a great TV show and a good example of what a Disney Channel show could be! However, Disney Channel has been creating so many horrible shows for teenage girls, and they have nothing to do with Walt Disney what so ever. Okay, now Disney Channel has a lot of shows about teenage girls singing and dancing. What the heck does this have to do with Walt Disney?
Okay, well the first drug induced Disney Channel show I am going to talk about is Hannah Montana. I mean, come on! This is not a kids show! However, it is about a sexual teenage girl named Miley Stewart who is secretly a pop star named Hannah Montana. Now, Hannah Montana is a horrible singer and her music has nothing to do with Walt Disney. Hannah Montana sings stupid songs about life such as Nobody's Perfect and Best of Both Worlds. The song "Nobody's Perfect" is a stupid Hannah Montana song about life, and it explains to teenage girls that we are all different in every way. But Hannah Montana sings this song in a horrible voice, and it is not appropriate for little girls. The song "Best of Both Worlds" is another stupid Hannah Montana song about herself as both a teenage girl and a pop star. However, this song sucks just like her other songs, and she sings it in a horrible voice. Hannah Montana is a bad influence for little girls.
Now, the second drug induced show on Disney Channel is Wizards of Waverly Place. It is about these teenagers who are wizards and go to a wizard school. It is another teen sitcom that also sucks like Disney's other sitcoms. This show stars Selena Gomez and a few other stupid characters. This show has sexual content and stupid humor. And this show has nothing to do with Walt Disney. Wizards of Waverly Place is a terrible show.
Now, the third drug induced show is The Suite Life of Zack & Cody. It is about these two boys named Zack and Cody who wreak havoc in a big hotel called the Tipton Hotel. They live with two spoiled teenage girls named London and Maddie who are also spoiled brats, their mother, Mr. Moseby (the hotel manager), and the room service man. In this show, Zack and Cody do stupid things that are supposedly funny, but doing these things in real life could get you in big trouble. I remember a long time ago there was an episode of this show that had a joke involving Zack and Cody "dry-cleaning their underwear". And their mother came into the room and asked them if they "dry-cleaned their underwear again". And Zack replies to her and says, "It feels good". Plus, this show is rated TV-G. How the heck is a teen sitcom that has inappropriate jokes rated TV-G? This show also has sexual content, mature theme, and stupid humor. The Suite Life of Zack & Cody is a horrible show.
The fourth drug induced show is Sonny With a Chance. It is about a teenage girl named Sonny (played by Demi Lovato) and she does stupid things. This show has sexual content and stupid humor. Plus, it is rated TV-G. How the heck is a show that has sexual content rated TV-G? Really, this show should be rated TV-14. Sonny With a Chance is a horrible show.
The fifth drug induced show is JONAS. It is about the Jonas Brothers as the Lucas Brothers. This show is about the Jonas Brothers getting into crazy situations. This show has sexual content, mature theme, and irrelevant humor. This show is also rated TV-G just like Hannah Montana. Come on, this show should be rated TV-PG if it has this kind of stuff in it and little girls are watching it and falling in love with the Jonas Brothers. JONAS is a horrible show.
The sixth bad show on Disney Channel is Good Luck Charlie. It is about a family who has a baby girl named Charlie. There is a mother and father, a little boy, a teenage boy and teenage girl. They are a stupid family who do stupid things together. How the heck is there a girl named Charlie? I thought that Charlie was a boy's name! This show has sexual content and stupid humor. Also, this show is rated TV-G like all of Disney Channel's other stupid teen sitcoms. Come on Disney, teen sitcoms should not be rated TV-G! If this show has sexual content in it, then why the heck is this show rated TV-G? That is why Good Luck Charlie is a terrible show like Disney's other stupid shows.
The seventh bad show is The Suite Life on Deck. It is about Zack and Cody who are now living on a cruise ship. Zack and Cody are still wreaking havoc to the people on the cruise ship. Zack and Cody are still young and they act like stupid little kids. London and Maddie are still two spoiled teenagers. And Mr. Moseby is still an idiot on this show. This show has sexual content, mature theme, and irrelevant humor. This show is also rated TV-G. Why the heck is this show rated TV-G? The Suite Life on Deck is a terrible show.
The eighth bad show on Disney Channel is Shake It Up. It is about these teenage girls who dance and shake their butts off. This show is also rated TV-G. But this show has sexual content and mature theme. Shake It Up is a horrible show.
The ninth bad show on Disney Channel is ANT Farm. It is another teen sitcom about a girl who has sex with other girls. This show also has sexual content, mature theme, and stupid humor. And this show is also rated TV-G. Why the heck is this show rated TV-G? ANT Farm is a bad show.
The tenth bad show is Jessie. It is about a teenage girl who is a nanny. What the heck is wrong with Disney Channel making nothing but teen sitcoms? This show has sexual content and stupid humor. I can't believe this show is also rated TV-G! This show should be rated TV-MA. This show is also aimed at little girls ages 6-17. Why the heck would a 6 year old girl want to watch a teen sitcom anyway? They should be playing games and going outside. Jessie is a horrible show.
The eleventh bad show is Austin & Ally. This show is about spoiled teenage girls who do stupid things and flirt with boys. This show also has sexual content and mature theme. What the heck does this have to do with Walt Disney? This is a horrible show.
The twelfth bad show is Dog With a Blog. This show is about a stupid dog that has a blog and can talk. This dog writes a blog and takes a dump on the floor like a dog. This show has explicit sexual content and adult content. Why the heck is a show that has sexual content on Disney Channel? Dog With a Blog is an awful show.
The thirteenth and last bad show on Disney Channel is Girl Meets World. This show is about a teenage girl who is just a sexual teenage girl. It is a sexual orientation rip-off to the classic Boy Meets World show from the 1990's. In this show, the boy from the old show is now a father and his daughter is the star of the show. She is even worse than her father because she has sex with other teenagers. Come on, this is a Disney Channel show! There isn't supposed to be sex on this show if it is a Disney show! This show also has explicit sexual content, mature theme, and adult humor. This show is also rated TV-G just like all the other Disney Channel shows. This show should be rated TV-MA. Girl Meets World is a sexual orientation to Boy Meets World. Girl Meets World is a disgusting show!
As you know, Disney Channel is definitely on drugs because they encourage young girls about under-aged sex and substance abuse. Little girls should never be watching Disney Channel because it teaches young girls about under-aged sex and masturbation. If you are a parent of a child or a grown-up of today, then this is something important you have to read. Disney Channel is a very bad influence to little kids because they are getting kids exposed to women at the wrong age. And they are making children fall in love when they are not old enough to go out into the world and become a member of society. This is why Disney Channel should not be watched under any circumstances what so ever. This is why you should let your kids watch appropriate shows on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Disney Channel is not recommended for young children under the age of 14. So there you have it, proof that Disney Channel is on drugs. Okay, that's all for now. This has been Sarcasm News Tonight!
(C)2016 Sarcasm News Tonight
(C)2016 Sarcastic Productions
The End
Matty Iannielli
Okay, well Disney Channel is a TV channel for little girly girls and teenage girls. Disney Channel has countless TV shows dedicated to teenage girls ages 8-19, and the stars are like 10 years older than the audience. Disney Channel has been on drugs ever since 2007, when the classic Disney TV show House of Mouse was cancelled and replaced with a horrible teen sitcom called Hannah Montana. Now, Hannah Montana caused the tragic death of Mickey Mouse (Disney's former legend). In the early 2000's, a classic cartoon from Disney Channel was on TV. It was called House of Mouse. It starred the famous Disney icon, Mickey Mouse. Now, House of Mouse was a great TV show and a good example of what a Disney Channel show could be! However, Disney Channel has been creating so many horrible shows for teenage girls, and they have nothing to do with Walt Disney what so ever. Okay, now Disney Channel has a lot of shows about teenage girls singing and dancing. What the heck does this have to do with Walt Disney?
Okay, well the first drug induced Disney Channel show I am going to talk about is Hannah Montana. I mean, come on! This is not a kids show! However, it is about a sexual teenage girl named Miley Stewart who is secretly a pop star named Hannah Montana. Now, Hannah Montana is a horrible singer and her music has nothing to do with Walt Disney. Hannah Montana sings stupid songs about life such as Nobody's Perfect and Best of Both Worlds. The song "Nobody's Perfect" is a stupid Hannah Montana song about life, and it explains to teenage girls that we are all different in every way. But Hannah Montana sings this song in a horrible voice, and it is not appropriate for little girls. The song "Best of Both Worlds" is another stupid Hannah Montana song about herself as both a teenage girl and a pop star. However, this song sucks just like her other songs, and she sings it in a horrible voice. Hannah Montana is a bad influence for little girls.
Now, the second drug induced show on Disney Channel is Wizards of Waverly Place. It is about these teenagers who are wizards and go to a wizard school. It is another teen sitcom that also sucks like Disney's other sitcoms. This show stars Selena Gomez and a few other stupid characters. This show has sexual content and stupid humor. And this show has nothing to do with Walt Disney. Wizards of Waverly Place is a terrible show.
Now, the third drug induced show is The Suite Life of Zack & Cody. It is about these two boys named Zack and Cody who wreak havoc in a big hotel called the Tipton Hotel. They live with two spoiled teenage girls named London and Maddie who are also spoiled brats, their mother, Mr. Moseby (the hotel manager), and the room service man. In this show, Zack and Cody do stupid things that are supposedly funny, but doing these things in real life could get you in big trouble. I remember a long time ago there was an episode of this show that had a joke involving Zack and Cody "dry-cleaning their underwear". And their mother came into the room and asked them if they "dry-cleaned their underwear again". And Zack replies to her and says, "It feels good". Plus, this show is rated TV-G. How the heck is a teen sitcom that has inappropriate jokes rated TV-G? This show also has sexual content, mature theme, and stupid humor. The Suite Life of Zack & Cody is a horrible show.
The fourth drug induced show is Sonny With a Chance. It is about a teenage girl named Sonny (played by Demi Lovato) and she does stupid things. This show has sexual content and stupid humor. Plus, it is rated TV-G. How the heck is a show that has sexual content rated TV-G? Really, this show should be rated TV-14. Sonny With a Chance is a horrible show.
The fifth drug induced show is JONAS. It is about the Jonas Brothers as the Lucas Brothers. This show is about the Jonas Brothers getting into crazy situations. This show has sexual content, mature theme, and irrelevant humor. This show is also rated TV-G just like Hannah Montana. Come on, this show should be rated TV-PG if it has this kind of stuff in it and little girls are watching it and falling in love with the Jonas Brothers. JONAS is a horrible show.
The sixth bad show on Disney Channel is Good Luck Charlie. It is about a family who has a baby girl named Charlie. There is a mother and father, a little boy, a teenage boy and teenage girl. They are a stupid family who do stupid things together. How the heck is there a girl named Charlie? I thought that Charlie was a boy's name! This show has sexual content and stupid humor. Also, this show is rated TV-G like all of Disney Channel's other stupid teen sitcoms. Come on Disney, teen sitcoms should not be rated TV-G! If this show has sexual content in it, then why the heck is this show rated TV-G? That is why Good Luck Charlie is a terrible show like Disney's other stupid shows.
The seventh bad show is The Suite Life on Deck. It is about Zack and Cody who are now living on a cruise ship. Zack and Cody are still wreaking havoc to the people on the cruise ship. Zack and Cody are still young and they act like stupid little kids. London and Maddie are still two spoiled teenagers. And Mr. Moseby is still an idiot on this show. This show has sexual content, mature theme, and irrelevant humor. This show is also rated TV-G. Why the heck is this show rated TV-G? The Suite Life on Deck is a terrible show.
The eighth bad show on Disney Channel is Shake It Up. It is about these teenage girls who dance and shake their butts off. This show is also rated TV-G. But this show has sexual content and mature theme. Shake It Up is a horrible show.
The ninth bad show on Disney Channel is ANT Farm. It is another teen sitcom about a girl who has sex with other girls. This show also has sexual content, mature theme, and stupid humor. And this show is also rated TV-G. Why the heck is this show rated TV-G? ANT Farm is a bad show.
The tenth bad show is Jessie. It is about a teenage girl who is a nanny. What the heck is wrong with Disney Channel making nothing but teen sitcoms? This show has sexual content and stupid humor. I can't believe this show is also rated TV-G! This show should be rated TV-MA. This show is also aimed at little girls ages 6-17. Why the heck would a 6 year old girl want to watch a teen sitcom anyway? They should be playing games and going outside. Jessie is a horrible show.
The eleventh bad show is Austin & Ally. This show is about spoiled teenage girls who do stupid things and flirt with boys. This show also has sexual content and mature theme. What the heck does this have to do with Walt Disney? This is a horrible show.
The twelfth bad show is Dog With a Blog. This show is about a stupid dog that has a blog and can talk. This dog writes a blog and takes a dump on the floor like a dog. This show has explicit sexual content and adult content. Why the heck is a show that has sexual content on Disney Channel? Dog With a Blog is an awful show.
The thirteenth and last bad show on Disney Channel is Girl Meets World. This show is about a teenage girl who is just a sexual teenage girl. It is a sexual orientation rip-off to the classic Boy Meets World show from the 1990's. In this show, the boy from the old show is now a father and his daughter is the star of the show. She is even worse than her father because she has sex with other teenagers. Come on, this is a Disney Channel show! There isn't supposed to be sex on this show if it is a Disney show! This show also has explicit sexual content, mature theme, and adult humor. This show is also rated TV-G just like all the other Disney Channel shows. This show should be rated TV-MA. Girl Meets World is a sexual orientation to Boy Meets World. Girl Meets World is a disgusting show!
As you know, Disney Channel is definitely on drugs because they encourage young girls about under-aged sex and substance abuse. Little girls should never be watching Disney Channel because it teaches young girls about under-aged sex and masturbation. If you are a parent of a child or a grown-up of today, then this is something important you have to read. Disney Channel is a very bad influence to little kids because they are getting kids exposed to women at the wrong age. And they are making children fall in love when they are not old enough to go out into the world and become a member of society. This is why Disney Channel should not be watched under any circumstances what so ever. This is why you should let your kids watch appropriate shows on Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. Disney Channel is not recommended for young children under the age of 14. So there you have it, proof that Disney Channel is on drugs. Okay, that's all for now. This has been Sarcasm News Tonight!
(C)2016 Sarcasm News Tonight
(C)2016 Sarcastic Productions
The End
Matty Iannielli