Hello again! Welcome back to Sarcasm News Tonight! Tonight we have a report coming from the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in Lower Manhattan about the New York City Subway. It is reported that the MTA had sued Subway Corporation for supposedly stealing the New York City Subway's identity of train transportation in New York City. According to one of our reporters, it was discovered that the MTA was upset about the Subway Corporation because most of the MTA members believed that Subway was trying to illegally steal the NYC Subway's identity. MTA believed that this was so because many New Yorkers are familiar with the NYC Subway Train that goes all across the five boroughs of New York City, and now there are hundreds of Subway restaurants throughout the New York metropolitan area, the New England area, and the Northeastern United States. As of June 2017, Subway now operates over 26,000 locations in the United States. There are now over 44,000 locations in the world alone. However, the MTA wanted to make the New York City Subway more feasible, so they had announced in a press conference earlier last week that they were going to sue the Subway Corporation in Supreme Court if the case for same named trademarks would not be resolved.
However, the MTA announced in a press conference last Tuesday that they would sue Subway Corporation for "illegal trademark name similarity" and if the MTA wins this case, then the Subway Corporation would be forced to change the name of its restaurant. But if MTA does not win this case, then the New York City Subway Train lines would have to be shut down from the entire area of New York City, and that would not be good. And the NYC mayor Bill de Blasio told Subway restaurants CEO Suzanne Greco that "The New York City Subway is a very important part of New York that means a tradition to our community, and without it, then New York City would only have to rely on cars and trucks and such automotive vehicles. Also, with the ongoing congestion of daily rush hour traffic in the city, then this would cause a huge problem with our commuters either going towards the city or bound to Long Island, then this would also affect truck transportation including freight or delivery into the city, thus promoting additional traffic and congestion on our bridges and tunnels and less use of pedestrian or bicycle transit in our city". However, Subway restaurant's CEO Suzanne Greco commented to MTA about the following complaint "Subway Restaurants are not intended to illegally copyright the New York City's Subway Train, but we are only here to make people all across the United States and internationally with fresh and healthy food that will help serve our customers. We only wanted to call our restaurant 'Subway' because our menu consists of submarine sandwiches (or subs), and other products such as salads, pizza, and cookies; but we chose the name Subway for our restaurant not only because it has the word 'sub' in it, but also because it is the way to get fresh subs". But the mayor of NYC Bill de Blasio replied to the MTA the following, "Maybe Subway Corporation is not trying to steal the New York City Subway Train's identity after all, maybe at least they named their restaurant Subway not only because they sell subs, but maybe also because I remember in an old Subway Restaurants commercial from the early 1990's that when you go to New York City and you are hungry for submarines, that 'You have to take the Subway Train to get to the Subway'. And I believe that's the reason they named the restaurant Subway". However, the MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast stated to mayor Bill de Blasio that "The New York City Subway was the first organization to coin the term 'Subway' and has been an international icon as well as a historic part of New York City, but without the train system's ability to keep the tradition of the Subway Train going on after Subway Restaurants, then thousands of people in our city will lose their jobs and will only have to travel through the city by cars, trucks, buses, and such transportation vehicles, as well as a huge amount of pedestrians and bicycle traffic in our city, which would cause enormous congestion and even destruction to New York City. If we want to keep our Subway Train system alive and continue to own the rights for the 'Subway' trademark, then we should tell the Subway Corporation that we owned the rights to the term Subway first before the restaurant chain came about, and we want to continue to keep that tradition in our city so that we don't get any more congestion on our highways, bridges, and tunnels, because our city already has too much traffic here". But NYC mayor Bill de Blasio told Prendergast and Subway Restaurants CEO Suzanne Greco the following, "Well whether Subway Restaurants are trying to illegally steal our Subway Train's identity or not, then we may have to see for ourselves in Court if it's actually true, because we don't want to lose our precious Subway Train or do any more damage to our city, and if it isn't true, then Subway Corporation will have to be forced to change the name of its restaurant chain; but if it is true, then we must get this lawsuit filed otherwise the New York City Subway Train is history"!
And so the Metropolitan Transportation Authority announced in the conference that both MTA and Subway Corporation would be going to Court. The lawsuit happened at Supreme Court in Downtown Manhattan on Saturday, June 3rd, 2017 at 2:00 PM Eastern Time. The jury allowed both companies between the MTA and Subway Corporation to be investigated by the Supreme Court because of the two companies' similar trademark names, and if in case Subway Corporation really was illegally stealing the New York City Subway Train's identity.
That afternoon right inside Supreme Court, between the two companies of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and the Subway Corporation, Judge Judy became the Court's federal judge, and Dr. Phil became the Court's lawyer for the lawsuit. They investigated the case between MTA and the Subway Corporation. When Judge Judy ordered both the two companies and their CEO's investigation, "Order in the Court, I need to know which companies are responsible for this lawsuit! I am Judge Judy! Please explain to me honestly what the purpose of this lawsuit is"! And so, the CEO of the MTA Thomas Prendergast explained to Judge Judy "Yes, your honor. Hi, I am Thomas Prendergast, chairman of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, and I am here to say that both MTA and Subway Corporation are responsible for this case". And as Prendergast finished speaking, Dr. Phil, the official lawyer for the case spoke up with his words, "Hello, I'm Dr. Phil. Nice to meet you guys today. I see that both of you two companies have come here today to investigate the case on whether Subway Corporation is illegally trying to steal the New York City Subway Train's identity". Prendergast spoke back again to Dr. Phil and said "Yes your honor. Thank you all for coming here today to find out this situation". Judge Judy spoke again and introduced herself to another client in the case, Subway Corporation CEO Suzanne Greco and said, "Hi, my name is Judge Judy. I will be your federal judge today. That's Dr. Phil, your lawyer today that will help you win the case. And that way over there is MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast, your case's rival". And so Subway Restaurants CEO spoke up to the jury and announced "Hi, I'm Suzanne Greco, CEO of Subway Restaurants and Doctor's Associates, Inc. I am here today because there must be a misunderstanding that our company has been illegally stealing the similar identity of the MTA New York City Subway. However, we are not actually trying to steal the New York City Subway's identity, but we only got that trademark from when our founders Fred DeLuca and Peter Buck borrowed over $1,000 to start a business called Pete's Super Submarines, and then they formed Doctor's Associates, Inc. to maintain the franchise's expansion over time. Then in 1966, DeLuca raised the money to grow the submarine sandwich business. After that DeLuca earned enough money from the business to pay tuition for medical school, as well as Buck's having a PhD doctorate in physics. Doctor's Associates is not affiliated with, nor endorsed by, any medical organization. In late 1968 the restaurant chain was renamed 'Subway', and that must be how the company coined the name Subway, but it is not affiliated with the New York City Subway Train".
Dr. Phil cleared his throat and said back "I can see that. Now what is the main reason that you all came here today?", asked Dr. Phil. MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast spoke up "Yes your honor, we came here today because we are concerned that Subway Restaurants and Doctor's Associates, Inc. have supposedly stolen the identity of the MTA New York City Subway Trains in an illegal matter". Judge Judy responded "I see that. So why is it that you would file a lawsuit over two named trademarks' similarity"? And so Prendergest responded to the jury "Well your honor, we just wanted to know if the Subway Restaurants chain meant to own the rights to the 'Subway' trademark when the name was already taken. We were the first company to coin the rights to the term Subway, when we used the term as a name for an underground rapid transit train system in New York City. But then the submarine sandwich became popular during the early 1960's, and the new submarine restaurant that would soon be known as Subway was founded in 1965 originally as Pete's Super Submarines. In 1968, Pete's Super Submarines was renamed as 'Subway' because the restaurant's name supposedly sounded like 'Pizza Marines' and they wanted people to know that it was a submarine sandwich restaurant, and not a pizzeria. It's too bad that they didn't choose another name for the restaurant like Sub Town, Sub Place, or Sub Center". Judge Judy responded to the complaints and announced "So, Mrs. Suzanne Greco. CEO of Subway Restaurants and Doctor's Associates, Inc. Please tell me the reason why the restaurant was named Subway, instead of such names like Sub Town, Sub Place, or Sub Center". Subway Restaurants CEO Suzanne Greco responded, "Well your honor, we only wanted to name the restaurant Subway because it is a restaurant for eating submarines and getting fresh and healthy food. Also, we changed the name of our restaurant a few times because the restaurant's original name sounded like Pizza Marines, and we didn't want our customers to confuse our restaurant's name with a pizzeria restaurant, so we chose the name 'Subway' since we wanted to keep the word sub in it. And that's how the submarine restaurant got its name from. Subway, Eat Flesh. Furthermore, Subway Restaurants are not affiliated with the New York City Subway Train".
Then the Court's lawyer Dr. Phil announced to the jury "So, if it is not affiliated with the Subway Train, then why did you name it Subway, instead of Sub Town, Sub Center, or Sub Place? Those would have made better names". Greco replied, "Well your honor, we actually love the New York City Subway Train, but I guess we named our restaurant Subway not only because it has the word sub in it and that we wanted people to know that it is a submarine restaurant, but I guess we also chose that name because we wanted to pay a tribute for the New York City Subway with the name trademark, and that we wanted the restaurant chain's name to be catchy and easy for people to remember. And thus, we created the restaurant, Subway: Eat Flesh". Judge Judy spoke again and announced "For the members of the jury and the court, what can we do to make people know that the restaurant is called Subway due to being a submarine restaurant, paying a tribute to the New York City Subway, and still serving customers so that people don't confuse the restaurant chain with the rapid transit train system in New York City". Greco replied "Well your honor, we would like to keep the Subway trademark with us but we shall give the MTA credit for being the first to use the term Subway in such matter. But we will still make our customers hungry and proud, and we can all be healthy". Judge Judy asked, "Also, why is the slogan Eat Flesh"? Greco commented "Your honor, the slogan is 'Eat Fresh', not Eat Flesh. It is because we want our customers to eat healthy, meaning fresh foods that are all natural and fresh meat that does not have antibiotics or preservatives, and that our food tastes good and will keep you healthy". Judge Judy responded "I see that. Now, how come sometimes I see images on the internet that are making fun of your restaurant and supposedly changing the name of the restaurant and the slogan to Eat Flesh instead of Eat Fresh?" Greco replied "Well your honor, I guess it's because some people don't like Subway foods and don't like submarines either, and maybe they like to parody our restaurant and our slogan because they want other people to stop eating it or think that our restaurant is trying to poison our customers. However, we are not trying to do any of that stuff and we would never intend to do such stuff to our customers because we want people to eat healthy and fresh, and maybe that's why they do stuff like that". Judge Judy commented, "Okay, so what can we do to make sure your customers are eating healthy and fresh, and not eating other people's flesh"? Greco said "Well your honor, we can remind our customers who come to our restaurants that our food is fresh and that we can use 100% all-natural ingredients so that more people can come in to our restaurants and we can have more customers and make more money, and also by making a program to give lots of food to people in Africa and ending world hunger so that Subway Restaurants can be even fresher"! Dr. Phil commented on the situation and said "Okay, so if you want all of your customers to eat fresh, and not 'flesh', then how can we make sure that people are eating fresh, and not being cannibals?" Greco said "Well your honor, I guess that we can start reminding people that we will promise to give our customers fresh foods and also make our foods taste even better by adding more natural ingredients, and we can end the controversy about those images on the internet that ridicule our restaurant by saying such things like that our slogan is 'Eat Flesh', and that we can add more varieties of foods to our menu so that we can have more customers, and we can be an even better restaurant than before. Subway: Eat Fresh".
Dr. Phil said to the jury, "So, our case is being resolved. Which ones of you members of the jury would agree on some of these complaints"? All members of the jury responded and said "We have, your honor. We believe that Subway Restaurants should continue to keep the Subway trademark, and also continue to satisfy their hungry customers and give them more fresh submarines, as well as to help other people around the world to get more foods and fresh submarines in order to end world hunger, and to continue to make fresher ingredients in their foods. We also believe that Subway should also research into new medicines in order to make people live longer and also be healthier, by the support of Doctor's Associates, Inc. Subway Restaurants should also make their restaurant even better by ending the controversies of other people posting pictures and articles all over the internet that ridicule the restaurant's reputation. One more other thing that Subway should improve on is to attract more customers by reminding people that their food is fresh by stating on their products and approved by the FDA that there are no preservatives, no antibiotics, no MSG, no harmful chemicals, and also 100% real meat that goes by the FDA's highest standards. This is all that we would like for Subway Restaurants, so that they can continue to be fresh again". All members of the jury agreed and recommended that Subway Restaurants would do this. Dr. Phil concluded the lawsuit by saying, "Finally, how can we give the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) the legal rights to owning the original registered trademark of the Subway Train"? MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast responded "Well your honor, we can keep the legal rights to the Subway even after the Subway Restaurant continues to exist, and we can also give Subway Corporation and Doctor's Associates, Inc. the fair and legal rights to the Subway Restaurants trademark even after we continue improving our line of Subway Trains all across the five boroughs of New York City, and continue to mark the Subway Train as an iconic part of New York City, and the submarine sandwich food industry". Finally, both Judge Judy and Dr. Phil concluded the lawsuit and stated, "Well everyone, I guess this means that the Subway trademark can continue to resemble both the MTA New York City Subway Train and the Subway Restaurants, and as for giving thanks for attending this lawsuit today, we are proud to give both the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, New York City Subway, and Subway Restaurants, and Doctor's Associates, Inc. a $6,000 award for both trademarks to be legally owned and maintained by both companies so that these two trademarks can no longer be confused upon. And so, thus ending the case today by giving both companies this prize, that you all are both approved of keeping your registered trademarks!". The jury approved the case and both companies won the lawsuit, and so the $6,000 case award was split into both companies by giving each trademark the same amount of money, making the total of money earned for the lawsuit up to over $12,000 in cash.
And so, the case was resolved by the Supreme Court, and the attorneys gave both companies the $6,000 bond in legal rights of ownership to both trademarks, as well as an unlimited lifetime ownership to each trademark by both companies. In the end, the lawsuit was successful, and both the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA New York City Subway) and Doctor's Associates, Inc. (Subway Restaurants) won the case and the similar trademark rights, and both companies continued to operate and satisfy their customers as well as their needs! So that's all for tonight. See you next time on Sarcasm News Tonight!
Matty Iannielli - Proud reporter of Sarcasm News Tonight!
(C)2017 Sarcasm News Tonight Inc.
(C)2017 Sarcastic Productions.
The End
Matty Iannielli
However, the MTA announced in a press conference last Tuesday that they would sue Subway Corporation for "illegal trademark name similarity" and if the MTA wins this case, then the Subway Corporation would be forced to change the name of its restaurant. But if MTA does not win this case, then the New York City Subway Train lines would have to be shut down from the entire area of New York City, and that would not be good. And the NYC mayor Bill de Blasio told Subway restaurants CEO Suzanne Greco that "The New York City Subway is a very important part of New York that means a tradition to our community, and without it, then New York City would only have to rely on cars and trucks and such automotive vehicles. Also, with the ongoing congestion of daily rush hour traffic in the city, then this would cause a huge problem with our commuters either going towards the city or bound to Long Island, then this would also affect truck transportation including freight or delivery into the city, thus promoting additional traffic and congestion on our bridges and tunnels and less use of pedestrian or bicycle transit in our city". However, Subway restaurant's CEO Suzanne Greco commented to MTA about the following complaint "Subway Restaurants are not intended to illegally copyright the New York City's Subway Train, but we are only here to make people all across the United States and internationally with fresh and healthy food that will help serve our customers. We only wanted to call our restaurant 'Subway' because our menu consists of submarine sandwiches (or subs), and other products such as salads, pizza, and cookies; but we chose the name Subway for our restaurant not only because it has the word 'sub' in it, but also because it is the way to get fresh subs". But the mayor of NYC Bill de Blasio replied to the MTA the following, "Maybe Subway Corporation is not trying to steal the New York City Subway Train's identity after all, maybe at least they named their restaurant Subway not only because they sell subs, but maybe also because I remember in an old Subway Restaurants commercial from the early 1990's that when you go to New York City and you are hungry for submarines, that 'You have to take the Subway Train to get to the Subway'. And I believe that's the reason they named the restaurant Subway". However, the MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast stated to mayor Bill de Blasio that "The New York City Subway was the first organization to coin the term 'Subway' and has been an international icon as well as a historic part of New York City, but without the train system's ability to keep the tradition of the Subway Train going on after Subway Restaurants, then thousands of people in our city will lose their jobs and will only have to travel through the city by cars, trucks, buses, and such transportation vehicles, as well as a huge amount of pedestrians and bicycle traffic in our city, which would cause enormous congestion and even destruction to New York City. If we want to keep our Subway Train system alive and continue to own the rights for the 'Subway' trademark, then we should tell the Subway Corporation that we owned the rights to the term Subway first before the restaurant chain came about, and we want to continue to keep that tradition in our city so that we don't get any more congestion on our highways, bridges, and tunnels, because our city already has too much traffic here". But NYC mayor Bill de Blasio told Prendergast and Subway Restaurants CEO Suzanne Greco the following, "Well whether Subway Restaurants are trying to illegally steal our Subway Train's identity or not, then we may have to see for ourselves in Court if it's actually true, because we don't want to lose our precious Subway Train or do any more damage to our city, and if it isn't true, then Subway Corporation will have to be forced to change the name of its restaurant chain; but if it is true, then we must get this lawsuit filed otherwise the New York City Subway Train is history"!
And so the Metropolitan Transportation Authority announced in the conference that both MTA and Subway Corporation would be going to Court. The lawsuit happened at Supreme Court in Downtown Manhattan on Saturday, June 3rd, 2017 at 2:00 PM Eastern Time. The jury allowed both companies between the MTA and Subway Corporation to be investigated by the Supreme Court because of the two companies' similar trademark names, and if in case Subway Corporation really was illegally stealing the New York City Subway Train's identity.
That afternoon right inside Supreme Court, between the two companies of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and the Subway Corporation, Judge Judy became the Court's federal judge, and Dr. Phil became the Court's lawyer for the lawsuit. They investigated the case between MTA and the Subway Corporation. When Judge Judy ordered both the two companies and their CEO's investigation, "Order in the Court, I need to know which companies are responsible for this lawsuit! I am Judge Judy! Please explain to me honestly what the purpose of this lawsuit is"! And so, the CEO of the MTA Thomas Prendergast explained to Judge Judy "Yes, your honor. Hi, I am Thomas Prendergast, chairman of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, and I am here to say that both MTA and Subway Corporation are responsible for this case". And as Prendergast finished speaking, Dr. Phil, the official lawyer for the case spoke up with his words, "Hello, I'm Dr. Phil. Nice to meet you guys today. I see that both of you two companies have come here today to investigate the case on whether Subway Corporation is illegally trying to steal the New York City Subway Train's identity". Prendergast spoke back again to Dr. Phil and said "Yes your honor. Thank you all for coming here today to find out this situation". Judge Judy spoke again and introduced herself to another client in the case, Subway Corporation CEO Suzanne Greco and said, "Hi, my name is Judge Judy. I will be your federal judge today. That's Dr. Phil, your lawyer today that will help you win the case. And that way over there is MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast, your case's rival". And so Subway Restaurants CEO spoke up to the jury and announced "Hi, I'm Suzanne Greco, CEO of Subway Restaurants and Doctor's Associates, Inc. I am here today because there must be a misunderstanding that our company has been illegally stealing the similar identity of the MTA New York City Subway. However, we are not actually trying to steal the New York City Subway's identity, but we only got that trademark from when our founders Fred DeLuca and Peter Buck borrowed over $1,000 to start a business called Pete's Super Submarines, and then they formed Doctor's Associates, Inc. to maintain the franchise's expansion over time. Then in 1966, DeLuca raised the money to grow the submarine sandwich business. After that DeLuca earned enough money from the business to pay tuition for medical school, as well as Buck's having a PhD doctorate in physics. Doctor's Associates is not affiliated with, nor endorsed by, any medical organization. In late 1968 the restaurant chain was renamed 'Subway', and that must be how the company coined the name Subway, but it is not affiliated with the New York City Subway Train".
Dr. Phil cleared his throat and said back "I can see that. Now what is the main reason that you all came here today?", asked Dr. Phil. MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast spoke up "Yes your honor, we came here today because we are concerned that Subway Restaurants and Doctor's Associates, Inc. have supposedly stolen the identity of the MTA New York City Subway Trains in an illegal matter". Judge Judy responded "I see that. So why is it that you would file a lawsuit over two named trademarks' similarity"? And so Prendergest responded to the jury "Well your honor, we just wanted to know if the Subway Restaurants chain meant to own the rights to the 'Subway' trademark when the name was already taken. We were the first company to coin the rights to the term Subway, when we used the term as a name for an underground rapid transit train system in New York City. But then the submarine sandwich became popular during the early 1960's, and the new submarine restaurant that would soon be known as Subway was founded in 1965 originally as Pete's Super Submarines. In 1968, Pete's Super Submarines was renamed as 'Subway' because the restaurant's name supposedly sounded like 'Pizza Marines' and they wanted people to know that it was a submarine sandwich restaurant, and not a pizzeria. It's too bad that they didn't choose another name for the restaurant like Sub Town, Sub Place, or Sub Center". Judge Judy responded to the complaints and announced "So, Mrs. Suzanne Greco. CEO of Subway Restaurants and Doctor's Associates, Inc. Please tell me the reason why the restaurant was named Subway, instead of such names like Sub Town, Sub Place, or Sub Center". Subway Restaurants CEO Suzanne Greco responded, "Well your honor, we only wanted to name the restaurant Subway because it is a restaurant for eating submarines and getting fresh and healthy food. Also, we changed the name of our restaurant a few times because the restaurant's original name sounded like Pizza Marines, and we didn't want our customers to confuse our restaurant's name with a pizzeria restaurant, so we chose the name 'Subway' since we wanted to keep the word sub in it. And that's how the submarine restaurant got its name from. Subway, Eat Flesh. Furthermore, Subway Restaurants are not affiliated with the New York City Subway Train".
Then the Court's lawyer Dr. Phil announced to the jury "So, if it is not affiliated with the Subway Train, then why did you name it Subway, instead of Sub Town, Sub Center, or Sub Place? Those would have made better names". Greco replied, "Well your honor, we actually love the New York City Subway Train, but I guess we named our restaurant Subway not only because it has the word sub in it and that we wanted people to know that it is a submarine restaurant, but I guess we also chose that name because we wanted to pay a tribute for the New York City Subway with the name trademark, and that we wanted the restaurant chain's name to be catchy and easy for people to remember. And thus, we created the restaurant, Subway: Eat Flesh". Judge Judy spoke again and announced "For the members of the jury and the court, what can we do to make people know that the restaurant is called Subway due to being a submarine restaurant, paying a tribute to the New York City Subway, and still serving customers so that people don't confuse the restaurant chain with the rapid transit train system in New York City". Greco replied "Well your honor, we would like to keep the Subway trademark with us but we shall give the MTA credit for being the first to use the term Subway in such matter. But we will still make our customers hungry and proud, and we can all be healthy". Judge Judy asked, "Also, why is the slogan Eat Flesh"? Greco commented "Your honor, the slogan is 'Eat Fresh', not Eat Flesh. It is because we want our customers to eat healthy, meaning fresh foods that are all natural and fresh meat that does not have antibiotics or preservatives, and that our food tastes good and will keep you healthy". Judge Judy responded "I see that. Now, how come sometimes I see images on the internet that are making fun of your restaurant and supposedly changing the name of the restaurant and the slogan to Eat Flesh instead of Eat Fresh?" Greco replied "Well your honor, I guess it's because some people don't like Subway foods and don't like submarines either, and maybe they like to parody our restaurant and our slogan because they want other people to stop eating it or think that our restaurant is trying to poison our customers. However, we are not trying to do any of that stuff and we would never intend to do such stuff to our customers because we want people to eat healthy and fresh, and maybe that's why they do stuff like that". Judge Judy commented, "Okay, so what can we do to make sure your customers are eating healthy and fresh, and not eating other people's flesh"? Greco said "Well your honor, we can remind our customers who come to our restaurants that our food is fresh and that we can use 100% all-natural ingredients so that more people can come in to our restaurants and we can have more customers and make more money, and also by making a program to give lots of food to people in Africa and ending world hunger so that Subway Restaurants can be even fresher"! Dr. Phil commented on the situation and said "Okay, so if you want all of your customers to eat fresh, and not 'flesh', then how can we make sure that people are eating fresh, and not being cannibals?" Greco said "Well your honor, I guess that we can start reminding people that we will promise to give our customers fresh foods and also make our foods taste even better by adding more natural ingredients, and we can end the controversy about those images on the internet that ridicule our restaurant by saying such things like that our slogan is 'Eat Flesh', and that we can add more varieties of foods to our menu so that we can have more customers, and we can be an even better restaurant than before. Subway: Eat Fresh".
Dr. Phil said to the jury, "So, our case is being resolved. Which ones of you members of the jury would agree on some of these complaints"? All members of the jury responded and said "We have, your honor. We believe that Subway Restaurants should continue to keep the Subway trademark, and also continue to satisfy their hungry customers and give them more fresh submarines, as well as to help other people around the world to get more foods and fresh submarines in order to end world hunger, and to continue to make fresher ingredients in their foods. We also believe that Subway should also research into new medicines in order to make people live longer and also be healthier, by the support of Doctor's Associates, Inc. Subway Restaurants should also make their restaurant even better by ending the controversies of other people posting pictures and articles all over the internet that ridicule the restaurant's reputation. One more other thing that Subway should improve on is to attract more customers by reminding people that their food is fresh by stating on their products and approved by the FDA that there are no preservatives, no antibiotics, no MSG, no harmful chemicals, and also 100% real meat that goes by the FDA's highest standards. This is all that we would like for Subway Restaurants, so that they can continue to be fresh again". All members of the jury agreed and recommended that Subway Restaurants would do this. Dr. Phil concluded the lawsuit by saying, "Finally, how can we give the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) the legal rights to owning the original registered trademark of the Subway Train"? MTA chairman Thomas Prendergast responded "Well your honor, we can keep the legal rights to the Subway even after the Subway Restaurant continues to exist, and we can also give Subway Corporation and Doctor's Associates, Inc. the fair and legal rights to the Subway Restaurants trademark even after we continue improving our line of Subway Trains all across the five boroughs of New York City, and continue to mark the Subway Train as an iconic part of New York City, and the submarine sandwich food industry". Finally, both Judge Judy and Dr. Phil concluded the lawsuit and stated, "Well everyone, I guess this means that the Subway trademark can continue to resemble both the MTA New York City Subway Train and the Subway Restaurants, and as for giving thanks for attending this lawsuit today, we are proud to give both the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, New York City Subway, and Subway Restaurants, and Doctor's Associates, Inc. a $6,000 award for both trademarks to be legally owned and maintained by both companies so that these two trademarks can no longer be confused upon. And so, thus ending the case today by giving both companies this prize, that you all are both approved of keeping your registered trademarks!". The jury approved the case and both companies won the lawsuit, and so the $6,000 case award was split into both companies by giving each trademark the same amount of money, making the total of money earned for the lawsuit up to over $12,000 in cash.
And so, the case was resolved by the Supreme Court, and the attorneys gave both companies the $6,000 bond in legal rights of ownership to both trademarks, as well as an unlimited lifetime ownership to each trademark by both companies. In the end, the lawsuit was successful, and both the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA New York City Subway) and Doctor's Associates, Inc. (Subway Restaurants) won the case and the similar trademark rights, and both companies continued to operate and satisfy their customers as well as their needs! So that's all for tonight. See you next time on Sarcasm News Tonight!
Matty Iannielli - Proud reporter of Sarcasm News Tonight!
(C)2017 Sarcasm News Tonight Inc.
(C)2017 Sarcastic Productions.
The End
Matty Iannielli