Welcome back to Sarcasm News Tonight! Tonight we have a special report coming live from Washington, DC taking place at Arlington National Cemetery. It was just reported tonight that the 35th president of the United States is actually coming back to life!
This morning we heard from a 42 year old man in downtown Washington, DC that he visited the cemetery to say a prayer for his father. He said that he heard an undetermined phone call coming from the middle of the cemetery. The voice of the call was reported to be a 97 year old man asking for someone to rescue him from his grave. The call was investigated by the Washington DC Police Department and was discovered on his ID to have said "John F Kennedy". Unfortunately, an unrealistic legend from the 1960's had a sarcastic report stating that "John F Kennedy was predicted to have died in 1963". However, this legend was believed to have been "false" due to the police actually believing that "this report was true"! According to the man's recall, he heard on the phone that the 97 year old man said that "his name WAS John F Kennedy"! Kennedy told the 42 year old man on the phone that he wanted the Washington DC Police to "rescue him from his grave". The investigation of John F Kennedy's possible resurrection took place at 9:24 PM this evening taking place at the White House.
Today we find out if John F Kennedy has finally resurrected in the wake of society. If this is true then the speculators would have been correct that John F Kennedy survived after over 40 years of being unconscious in his "so-called" grave. The news has become viral as of early September 2015! Next week it will be determined in the White House on whether John F Kennedy has survived the fall from under his grave. Some speculators from The New York Times have stated that this is crazy business for the real world, but there will be proof next on whether or not John F Kennedy is resurrecting from his grave!
This report has been a proud production of Sarcasm News Tonight and Sarcastic Productions.
(C)2015 Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C)2015 Sarcastic Productions, Inc
Matty Iannielli - Proud reporter of Sarcasm News Tonight.
The End
This morning we heard from a 42 year old man in downtown Washington, DC that he visited the cemetery to say a prayer for his father. He said that he heard an undetermined phone call coming from the middle of the cemetery. The voice of the call was reported to be a 97 year old man asking for someone to rescue him from his grave. The call was investigated by the Washington DC Police Department and was discovered on his ID to have said "John F Kennedy". Unfortunately, an unrealistic legend from the 1960's had a sarcastic report stating that "John F Kennedy was predicted to have died in 1963". However, this legend was believed to have been "false" due to the police actually believing that "this report was true"! According to the man's recall, he heard on the phone that the 97 year old man said that "his name WAS John F Kennedy"! Kennedy told the 42 year old man on the phone that he wanted the Washington DC Police to "rescue him from his grave". The investigation of John F Kennedy's possible resurrection took place at 9:24 PM this evening taking place at the White House.
Today we find out if John F Kennedy has finally resurrected in the wake of society. If this is true then the speculators would have been correct that John F Kennedy survived after over 40 years of being unconscious in his "so-called" grave. The news has become viral as of early September 2015! Next week it will be determined in the White House on whether John F Kennedy has survived the fall from under his grave. Some speculators from The New York Times have stated that this is crazy business for the real world, but there will be proof next on whether or not John F Kennedy is resurrecting from his grave!
This report has been a proud production of Sarcasm News Tonight and Sarcastic Productions.
(C)2015 Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C)2015 Sarcastic Productions, Inc
Matty Iannielli - Proud reporter of Sarcasm News Tonight.
The End