Hello again! Welcome back to Sarcasm News Tonight! Tonight on our report we will be explaining an optimistic image story of The Alternate Life of John F Kennedy. Well, we explained to our readers last week that John F Kennedy was resurrected in the White House last Friday! However, if John F Kennedy did not die of lung cancer back in 1963, then John F Kennedy probably would have served as President of the United States of America for an extra five years. But if John F Kennedy really did survive from the dangerous ride in the 1963 Lincoln Continental Presidential Limousine, then John F Kennedy probably would have served an eight year term. Maybe John F Kennedy would have been re-elected for a third term in the 1969 Presidential Election. If John F Kennedy really survived from riding in the 1963 Lincoln Continental limousine during that fateful day and made it to the next meeting conference to talk about the civil rights movement with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, then he probably would have also legalized black people to have the right to vote. But mostly, if John F Kennedy lived a longer life, then maybe he would have legalized the civil rights movement for black people to have freedom in the United States and be treated equally from white people and brown people.
Well, according to a 1963 urban legend that if John F Kennedy had survived the shootings, then he would have probably had a second term as President of the United States, and maybe would have also become a musician in the late 1960's. Well, just because there are some rumors that John F Kennedy had a longtime relationship with 1950's movie actress Marilyn Monroe, it was believed by the legends that John F Kennedy would have also been BFF's with Marilyn Monroe and probably even married her after breaking up with his longtime wife Jacqueline Kennedy in 1967. He would probably also have become a musician in the late 1960's and have been dreaming about the 1950's rock and roll musician Elvis Presley and how he would have learned how to become a musician and play guitar like Elvis Presley. So, if John F Kennedy would have survived the shootings, then he would have had a second term as President of the United States, and maybe even break up with Jacqueline Kennedy and date his new girlfriend Marilyn Monroe in 1967. Maybe in an alternate life, they got engaged with each other and probably have married each other and Marilyn Monroe would have even become John F Kennedy's wife.
Also, it was believed that by 1968, John F Kennedy signed a lease with an old record company called Fitzgerald Records, which was named after Kennedy's middle name and Fitzgerald Records approved of the lease for John F Kennedy after the introduction of Fitzgerald Records and John F Kennedy's first hit single "Presidential Blues", a rock and roll blues hit by Kennedy as a response to his 1960 election. John F Kennedy released this song back in November 1968 and it became a one hit wonder by early 1969. It was recorded in the Summer of 1968 after the 1968 Las Vegas Rock and Roll Festival in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Hard Rock Cafe. In March 1969, John F Kennedy came out with a second hit single called "When I'm President of the United States", a rock and roll song that describes about John F Kennedy becoming the President of the United States in 1960 and winning the election over Democratic nominee Lyndon B Johnson. On September 25, 1969, John F Kennedy came out with a third song called "Being the President", a pop rock hit single by John F Kennedy recorded in May 1969 and released on September 25, 1969 by Fitzgerald Records. In the Spring of 1970, Kennedy recorded another hit song called "Leader of America" a hard rock song by John F Kennedy which was Kennedy's first hard-core rock song ever released. It was released by Fitzgerald Records on July 17, 1970. In October 1970, Kennedy recorded another hit single live at the Heartbreak Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee titled "Down in the Dumps", another rock and roll song from John F Kennedy that was released on November 25, 1970 by Fitzgerald Records. In June 1971, Kennedy recorded another song called "It's A Wonderful Life" named after the famous 1940's Christmas movie of the same name. The song was about John F Kennedy enjoying the wonderful miracles of life itself, and explaining to people in song that life is wonderful in every way, and that Kennedy was proud to be alive, and he would never take his life for granted. It was released by Fitzgerald Records on September 19, 1971 and it became a Billboard Top 40 hit single in early 1972. On April 6, 1972, Fitzgerald Records released John F Kennedy's first musical album, called "John F Kennedy: Born to Rock". It included John F Kennedy's first 6 songs and a bonus track by Kennedy himself about the new hard rock song "Born to Rock" performed by John F Kennedy himself and named after the title of the album. The song's message was about how John F Kennedy started young as the 35th President of the United States in 1960, and became a rock and roll idol in 1968 and how all people around the world who start small can become a huge success over time. By late 1972, the album "John F Kennedy: Born to Rock" sold over 80 million copies around the world on LP Vinyl Record Disc and John F Kennedy eventually became a rock and roll legend in mid-1972. In February 1973, John F Kennedy recorded another song called "Rock Your Heart Out" another hard rock song by John F Kennedy explaining to people that you don't have to be afraid to rock your heart out, meaning a person who loved playing guitar was not afraid to show that he could share his talents to people around the world and rock out with all their heart and to never be afraid to explain to people that if you were a rock star, then you would become a success. It was released in May 1973 and became the top selling hit song for four weeks straight, and stayed as #1 on the Billboard Top 100 for over two months. In 1974, John F Kennedy met rock and roll icon Elvis Presley on The Tonight Show and asked Presley what he knew about rock and roll, and Presley said to Kennedy, "Well President Kennedy, there's more to music than just dancing and singing, it's about making people happy while you rock your heart out". Kennedy said to Elvis that he was looking forward to making people laugh and dance while Kennedy would sing in performing concerts all across the United States. So John F Kennedy also decided to become a movie actor, and asked for money while he was on tour at the John F Kennedy Radio Music Festival in 1975. While he was on a plane to London, Kennedy signed Presley's autograph with himself and the contract for the JFK Radio Music Festival Tour and got on a seat and practiced writing a song for when he arrived in London. At the London International Airport, Kennedy got his ticket checked and went on tour in the city of London where millions of people around the world gathered to get John F Kennedy's autograph.
Kennedy said that he wanted to get his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so he decided to quit the music industry and switch to the movie business, where millions of people asked Kennedy if he wanted to become a movie director or continue in the music industry and write more songs or quit music and start again with movies, but every time they asked Kennedy had announced at the tour, "I have decided that I am going to quit the music industry, leaving a milestone on my career as a celebrity. Instead of writing more songs for the music industry or anything like that, I have decided that I would like to become a movie actor instead. I will possibly direct a few Hollywood movies or appear as an actor in a few of those movies. So tonight at the John F Kennedy Radio Music Festival, I have decided that I would like to quit the music business and start over in the movie business.".
So Kennedy departed from London via a plane to Hollywood and became interested in movies when he got there. So after Kennedy's arrival in Hollywood, he learned to act and got a degree in the Hollywood Acting Center and officially became a movie actor in 1976. He starred in a few Hollywood movies such as The Matrix, The Election, President's Day, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and JFK. He also starred in a documentary movie titled "The Life and Words of John F Kennedy", and Kennedy said his words in the documentary that his life as a rock and roll musician was inspiring, and his life as President of the United States in the 1960's was tough, and his new life as a movie actor is described by Kennedy as "a new beginning". In 1978, John F Kennedy spoke to the Americans in Washington, DC about his multiple life as 35th President of the United States, a rock and roll musician in the 1970's, and now as a Hollywood movie actor in the late 1970's. He explained in Washington, DC that his personal life was hard as the President, and it got better during the 1970's when he became a musician and eventually a Hollywood movie actor in the late 1970's, and how he still struggles to this day about his past problems as the 35th President. In February 1979, John F Kennedy got his name on a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In August 1979, John F Kennedy played in another documentary movie titled "John F Kennedy: Rock and Roll Forever". It was released in theaters on August 17, 1979 and came out on home entertainment in April 1980.
During the 1980's, John F Kennedy quit the movie business with a total of about 11 movies with Kennedy appearing in a few of them and a few documentaries towards the end of the 1970's. In 1985, John F Kennedy was featured on Saturday Night Live with guest star Richard Nixon. Nixon explained to Kennedy that he would have liked to be President of the United States when Kennedy was in office and told Kennedy that he should have run again in the future so that America would be great again. But, however, on January 20, 2017, it was reported on Sarcasm News Tonight that John F Kennedy came back to life when Former President Barack Obama blessed him at Arlington National Cemetery and supposedly "rescued him from his grave" and Donald Trump was inaugurated that afternoon as the 45th President of the United States in Washington, DC. On that day, Kennedy told his old friend Donald J. Trump that he would always help Trump with the work on making America great again and once again serve as Vice President of the United States as opposed to Mike Pence in 2017. But John F Kennedy told Trump that afternoon that he got a second chance to live again until his second life is over and he would continue his existence up in Heaven and look down on the Americans and the Greater America in the far future.
In 1992, John F Kennedy announced to the people in Washington, DC that he would help America reunite with Cuba after the Cuban Missile Crisis of the 1960's during his Presidency. The former leader of Cuba named Fidel Castro denied Kennedy's response on building a bridge from Florida to Cuba because he was angry at Kennedy for starting the Missile Crisis in the early 1960's. Former President John F Kennedy decided to hold the proposal for a Florida-Cuba Bridge until the relationship of the United States with Cuba was reinstated in 2017. In 1995, Kennedy had a conference with Former President Ronald Reagan about making America great again, but Reagan was not sure about what would happen to Mother America if then-real estate developer Donald Trump would become the President of the United States in the near future, because he thought that it would be a threat to Americans after Reagan was hoping for then-first lady Hillary Clinton to become President by 2016, so Reagan considered waiting for the Bridge to Cuba proposal until relationship of the United States and Cuba would be reunited in the future.
When Former President George W Bush took over office in 2001, Kennedy stated to Bush that America was in danger of being attacked, because of the terrorists of Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, but Bush didn't listen or respond to Kennedy about this, because he wasn't sure that anything like that would ever happen. On September 11, 2001, when the World Trade Center in New York City was blown up, George W Bush wanted to transfer all troops to the Pentagon in Washington, DC; however, the Pentagon was as well bombed during 9/11 and Kennedy announced that the World Trade Center Site would have to be rebuilt and protected by armed military forces, but then-President George W Bush explained to Kennedy that armed military forces on the World Trade Center Site would probably not be necessary, because Bush was more concerned about rebuilding the World Trade Center Site and the Twin Towers. In November 2001, Former President John F Kennedy announced in The White House that a new World Trade Center was necessary, but he felt that armed military forces would not be required on the site due to the new Twin Towers looking much different than they were before they were blown up during 9/11. So Kennedy announced at a speech in The White House that the World Trade Center Site would have to be rebuilt, but the site did not need any military troops because the new plans for the World Trade Center Site differed very much from the original towers.
In 2004, John F Kennedy explained to then-President George W Bush that a new World Trade Center Site was already considered, and Kennedy explained to Bush that armed military forces were not necessary for the new World Trade Center Site anymore, because he didn't want any crime to be happening at the site for New York City as a result to the people of Manhattan during Kennedy and Bush's conference at the Trump Towers in midtown Manhattan. In 2007, John F Kennedy decided to retire from helping America's people because he was getting too old and he wanted future President elect Donald Trump to take over office once George W Bush and Barack Obama would leave office. John F Kennedy trusted his longtime friend Donald J. Trump to make America great again due to his age and his current Presidents not giving support to the Vietnam troops. In 2012, then-President Barack Obama announced to John F Kennedy at The White House that he would not support Donald Trump because he was concerned at the time when the American economy was struggling and going under an economic recession in the early 2010's, so he tried to accept Kennedy's opinion on Donald Trump taking over office in 2017. In 2016, John F Kennedy announced that he was a Trump supporter, but he originally supported Hillary Clinton because she was a woman, and he was not trying to be sexist, but he felt that Donald Trump's plans for a wall on the Mexican border would help America from illegal immigration, but he only disagreed that it would only make things worse for immigrants because they would no longer come to the United States and he was also concerned that Mexico would not remain part of America's Allies anymore.
On November 8, 2016, Donald J. Trump won the election with about a few votes behind Hillary Clinton, but won unexpectedly. Hearing this, Kennedy was proud for America's freedom and imagined a new America where everyone can be free and that Donald Trump won the election.
On January 20, 2017, moments before Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States, Former President Barack Obama arrived in Washington, DC and announced at a speech that he would do the favor to resurrect Former President John F Kennedy due to the positive status of the American economy after the economic recession of the early 2010's, and he supposedly rescued John Fitzgerald Kennedy from his grave and did the Sign of the Cross on Kennedy's body. After that, Obama brought Kennedy's body in The White House and blessed John F Kennedy's spirit with holy water and broke some holy bread and shoved it in Kennedy's mouth and the spirit of John F Kennedy became eternal because of Former President Obama's call to God about John F Kennedy's resurrection. When Former President Obama came out of The White House with a group of priests, the priests put John F Kennedy into a casket and closed it up, and when they got outside of The White House, the priests opened up the casket and John F Kennedy officially resurrected for the sake of society. When John F Kennedy opened up his eyes for the first time in 53 years, he saw life around him and realized that he had a second life thanks to our hero Former President Barack Obama for saving his life again and wishing John F Kennedy a good second life. When John F Kennedy got up for the first time in 53 years, he walked over to the speech table and explained to the people of America, "I am John F Kennedy. I have come back to life by the miracle of God and the request of Mother America in its times of chaos. I announce on this beautiful Friday afternoon that I have risen from the above by our American Lord President Barack Obama. And I am grateful to announce today that I salute Donald Trump to make America great again. During America's Golden Age when many people were 'hippies' and people were driving hip cars, they said to me, 'O Father Kennedy, will you please truly help America become a better place to be for most of us Americans and make our country safe for our Allies again.' So I Father Kennedy granted my Americans' wish to make America great again, but I lost my chance to keep America great because unfortunately my life was cut short by a deranged man with a gun who almost tried to kill me. But that didn't necessarily mean that America wasn't getting better; it just meant that My Country Tis' of Thee was still our Sweet Land of Liberty, of thee I sing. America was nothing but a land where our fathers died, it was a land of the pilgrims' pride from every mountainside. Let freedom ring for our country and keep the spirit of Liberty in the hearts of America forever. And that is just what we did. But that's not all. Our new president elect Donald J. Trump will still make America great again and work for office simultaneously with me John F Kennedy. I feel much younger than I did over 53 years ago. And now I have come back to life all thanks to the miracle of God and my people believing in me. And because the people believed in me and our former President Barack Obama saved me and gave me eternal powers because of God, I am now eternal and I will keep America great again and make our country safe for Americans. So I say to Donald Trump on this historic day, 'Make America Great Again!', so God Bless America! God Bless You Donald J. Trump! Amen".
So Former President John F Kennedy finished his speech in Washington, DC at The White House and explained to his people about his new life before he would rise up to the heavens in the far future. "I am President John F Kennedy, and I have a lot of words to say to America. Donald Trump is going to be elected as President of the United States today and I will live my life the best I can before my second life is over. And so I say to my people, thank you all for believing in me and making all my dreams of being alive again come true. I am now part of God and He who will watch upon me while I live in harmony. I now have a spare life all thanks to God and all the people who have come here today to celebrate the day that I awoke from my 53 year slumber in the Heavens. I will die again someday when I am ready and God calls for me again once more and God will whisper in my ear that it is my time again to be a part of God and look down at My Country 'Tis of Thee while I become an angel again many more years from now as I have an alternate life of peace for the United States of America. This does not mean that it will be the end of my journey yet; nevertheless, it will mean that I will continue my journey above the Heavens and enjoy my time as I live today until I enjoy the final parts of my existence in Heaven. I thank the Lord for being here today as I say goodbye to the old America and begin my day as a new and greater America. So in this case, make America great again, Donald Trump. God Bless the USA. Amen".
As the crowd outside The White House applauded Kennedy's new speech in Washington, DC today, our new President Donald Trump promised to Kennedy and his new people that he would make America great again. And he welcomed his old friend John F Kennedy to the Real World, and said that Kennedy can't do it alone, so Trump said to Kennedy that he would help Former President John F Kennedy make America great again, and also keep the United States united forever. As Trump went into the 2017 Presidential Election Limousine, he signed a treaty that would help give funding to Mother America's future projects, such as making more states in the Union, building a bridge from Florida to Cuba following Fidel Castro's death, legalizing same-sex marriage in the United States, building another bridge from the Bering Sea to the Siberian Peninsula in Russia to help exports get delivered into the United States and for Americans to go to other countries by car and also for trucks to carry things into Russia without interrupting our Allies, plans to rebuild the South Tower of Two World Trade Center, and a new bridge across the Long Island Sound in Oyster Bay, NY. These are many of Donald Trump's new plans to make America great again, and it just got even better! As Trump finished his speech in Washington, DC today, he got into the 2017 Presidential Election Inauguration Limousine and set off to The White House to begin his presidential term. Former President John F Kennedy said that he would be the Vice President so that the President Donald Trump would not work alone and he would also have an old friend to help make America great again with. So John F Kennedy got up from riding with new President Donald Trump in the 2017 Cadillac Presidential Election Inauguration Limousine and closed the doors and ran up to the speech table and reached for the microphone and planned out his final speech. Kennedy said to the American people the following, "President Trump has stated that he can't make America great again alone, so I have decided to help Trump with making America a greater country so that President Trump won't have to work alone, and he'll have an old friend to talk to and make America great again with. So now Mother America, I have decided that I am now the new Vice President of the United States of America, 'John F Kennedy for America'. Thank you America! What a beautiful country! I salute you Mother America! God Bless the USA! Let freedom ring from sea to shining sea! Thank You! Amen!".
As Kennedy finished his speech outside The White House, he announced to his people as the Vice President of America the following, "Thank You for coming here today. I have officially saluted the American people the way it's supposed to be. So as I thank you all for coming today, I will tell all of you Americans that I am now off to The White House! Thank You America! Make America Great Again! Amen!". As Kennedy finished his final speech outside The White House, he waved his hands to the people of America and shook their hands. Former President and Future Vice President John F Kennedy walked outside The White House and went inside the building in order to help President Donald Trump. Future Vice President John F Kennedy walked into The White House and shook President Trump's hands and said to his new friend, "Pleased to meet you Mr. Trump. I support your plan to make America great again! Thank You Mr. Trump!". As Former President John F Kennedy greeted his New President Donald J. Trump, he shook his hands, wished him good luck, said to Donald J. Trump "Happy Inauguration Day!", and started his work as Vice President of the United States in his office at The White House and signed the American papers! As Kennedy finished signing the American papers, the people in Washington, DC outside The White House cheered for the New President and the return of Mother America's Greatest President herself, "John F Kennedy". So the New President Donald J. Trump said in his new words in the office, "Make America Great Again! Hallelujah! Amen! God Bless the USA!" and all the people in Washington, DC cheered outside The White House because a new President for Mother America was inaugurated, and that the Greatest American President herself, "John F Kennedy" returned from his 53 year long temporary sleep from under his temporary grave at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington, DC. Later that day, the citizens of America at Washington, DC cheered for America's greatest President herself "John F Kennedy", and had a private party at The White House for all the Americans who attended the long speech for New President Donald J. Trump and the long-awaited return of the Greatest American President herself, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. So later that night, all the Americans partied like it was 1999 and partied all night long! So John F Kennedy has finally come back to life all thanks to the miracle of God! So it is reported that if you are religious and believe in God himself, God will answer your call and help you solve your problems! So follow God himself and don't pay attention to the bad things happening in the World or the Devil Satan himself. So that ends the story of the Old America and a new beginning for Mother America and the new story of how America became great again!
Some speculators from The New York Times had already stated that this is crazy business for the real world, but there will be proof next on whether or not John F Kennedy has resurrected from his grave! It was reported last Saturday evening that The New York Times had apologized for their doubt on the revival of the legacy of America's greatest President herself, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and a bonus recent article from The New York Times also mentioned about John F Kennedy's resurrection that our new President Donald J. Trump was truly going to make America great again! And The New York Times also concluded that America would finally be great again in 4 years when Trump's first term is over, and John F Kennedy would say to the people that America was great again all thanks to Donald J. Trump and the official resurrection of John Fitzgerald Kennedy himself. So today we find out if John F Kennedy had finally resurrected in the wake of society. If this is true then the speculators would have been correct that John F Kennedy survived after over 53 years of being unconscious in his "so-called" grave. The news has become viral as of late January 2017! Next week it will be announced in The White House on whether John F Kennedy is back to life all thanks to the miracle of God and the official consideration of Mother America's future, and new Vice President John F Kennedy will serve in for current nominee Mike Pence so that America can be even greater than before! And America will be great again all thanks to the miracle of God, the official resurrection of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Former President Barack Obama, New President Donald J. Trump, and the faith of the American people in America's hard times of chaos. Now that our 35th President John F Kennedy is back and still young, and the American economy is now thriving all thanks to the new President Donald Trump, the new Vice President John Fitzgerald Kennedy instead of Mike Pence, and our Americans, America is once again great and will continue to be the greatest country in the world. So it was all thanks to Former President Barack Obama, Eternal Living John F Kennedy, New President Donald Trump, and our loyal Americans for making America great again! John F Kennedy said to The New York Times that "it all couldn't have been done without the miracle of God, the faith of Former President Barack Obama, the wisdom of New President Donald J. Trump, and our loyal Americans to bring me back to life again. I am very happy today to be here on this historic day to welcome the world to Greater Mother America. God Bless the USA and have a Happy Inauguration Day! Amen!". So that's all for tonight! See you next time on Sarcasm News Tonight!
This report has been a proud production of Sarcasm News Tonight!
Matty Iannielli - Proud reporter of Sarcasm News Tonight!
(C)2017 Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C)2017 Sarcastic Productions.
The End
Matty Iannielli
Well, according to a 1963 urban legend that if John F Kennedy had survived the shootings, then he would have probably had a second term as President of the United States, and maybe would have also become a musician in the late 1960's. Well, just because there are some rumors that John F Kennedy had a longtime relationship with 1950's movie actress Marilyn Monroe, it was believed by the legends that John F Kennedy would have also been BFF's with Marilyn Monroe and probably even married her after breaking up with his longtime wife Jacqueline Kennedy in 1967. He would probably also have become a musician in the late 1960's and have been dreaming about the 1950's rock and roll musician Elvis Presley and how he would have learned how to become a musician and play guitar like Elvis Presley. So, if John F Kennedy would have survived the shootings, then he would have had a second term as President of the United States, and maybe even break up with Jacqueline Kennedy and date his new girlfriend Marilyn Monroe in 1967. Maybe in an alternate life, they got engaged with each other and probably have married each other and Marilyn Monroe would have even become John F Kennedy's wife.
Also, it was believed that by 1968, John F Kennedy signed a lease with an old record company called Fitzgerald Records, which was named after Kennedy's middle name and Fitzgerald Records approved of the lease for John F Kennedy after the introduction of Fitzgerald Records and John F Kennedy's first hit single "Presidential Blues", a rock and roll blues hit by Kennedy as a response to his 1960 election. John F Kennedy released this song back in November 1968 and it became a one hit wonder by early 1969. It was recorded in the Summer of 1968 after the 1968 Las Vegas Rock and Roll Festival in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Hard Rock Cafe. In March 1969, John F Kennedy came out with a second hit single called "When I'm President of the United States", a rock and roll song that describes about John F Kennedy becoming the President of the United States in 1960 and winning the election over Democratic nominee Lyndon B Johnson. On September 25, 1969, John F Kennedy came out with a third song called "Being the President", a pop rock hit single by John F Kennedy recorded in May 1969 and released on September 25, 1969 by Fitzgerald Records. In the Spring of 1970, Kennedy recorded another hit song called "Leader of America" a hard rock song by John F Kennedy which was Kennedy's first hard-core rock song ever released. It was released by Fitzgerald Records on July 17, 1970. In October 1970, Kennedy recorded another hit single live at the Heartbreak Hotel in Memphis, Tennessee titled "Down in the Dumps", another rock and roll song from John F Kennedy that was released on November 25, 1970 by Fitzgerald Records. In June 1971, Kennedy recorded another song called "It's A Wonderful Life" named after the famous 1940's Christmas movie of the same name. The song was about John F Kennedy enjoying the wonderful miracles of life itself, and explaining to people in song that life is wonderful in every way, and that Kennedy was proud to be alive, and he would never take his life for granted. It was released by Fitzgerald Records on September 19, 1971 and it became a Billboard Top 40 hit single in early 1972. On April 6, 1972, Fitzgerald Records released John F Kennedy's first musical album, called "John F Kennedy: Born to Rock". It included John F Kennedy's first 6 songs and a bonus track by Kennedy himself about the new hard rock song "Born to Rock" performed by John F Kennedy himself and named after the title of the album. The song's message was about how John F Kennedy started young as the 35th President of the United States in 1960, and became a rock and roll idol in 1968 and how all people around the world who start small can become a huge success over time. By late 1972, the album "John F Kennedy: Born to Rock" sold over 80 million copies around the world on LP Vinyl Record Disc and John F Kennedy eventually became a rock and roll legend in mid-1972. In February 1973, John F Kennedy recorded another song called "Rock Your Heart Out" another hard rock song by John F Kennedy explaining to people that you don't have to be afraid to rock your heart out, meaning a person who loved playing guitar was not afraid to show that he could share his talents to people around the world and rock out with all their heart and to never be afraid to explain to people that if you were a rock star, then you would become a success. It was released in May 1973 and became the top selling hit song for four weeks straight, and stayed as #1 on the Billboard Top 100 for over two months. In 1974, John F Kennedy met rock and roll icon Elvis Presley on The Tonight Show and asked Presley what he knew about rock and roll, and Presley said to Kennedy, "Well President Kennedy, there's more to music than just dancing and singing, it's about making people happy while you rock your heart out". Kennedy said to Elvis that he was looking forward to making people laugh and dance while Kennedy would sing in performing concerts all across the United States. So John F Kennedy also decided to become a movie actor, and asked for money while he was on tour at the John F Kennedy Radio Music Festival in 1975. While he was on a plane to London, Kennedy signed Presley's autograph with himself and the contract for the JFK Radio Music Festival Tour and got on a seat and practiced writing a song for when he arrived in London. At the London International Airport, Kennedy got his ticket checked and went on tour in the city of London where millions of people around the world gathered to get John F Kennedy's autograph.
Kennedy said that he wanted to get his name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so he decided to quit the music industry and switch to the movie business, where millions of people asked Kennedy if he wanted to become a movie director or continue in the music industry and write more songs or quit music and start again with movies, but every time they asked Kennedy had announced at the tour, "I have decided that I am going to quit the music industry, leaving a milestone on my career as a celebrity. Instead of writing more songs for the music industry or anything like that, I have decided that I would like to become a movie actor instead. I will possibly direct a few Hollywood movies or appear as an actor in a few of those movies. So tonight at the John F Kennedy Radio Music Festival, I have decided that I would like to quit the music business and start over in the movie business.".
So Kennedy departed from London via a plane to Hollywood and became interested in movies when he got there. So after Kennedy's arrival in Hollywood, he learned to act and got a degree in the Hollywood Acting Center and officially became a movie actor in 1976. He starred in a few Hollywood movies such as The Matrix, The Election, President's Day, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and JFK. He also starred in a documentary movie titled "The Life and Words of John F Kennedy", and Kennedy said his words in the documentary that his life as a rock and roll musician was inspiring, and his life as President of the United States in the 1960's was tough, and his new life as a movie actor is described by Kennedy as "a new beginning". In 1978, John F Kennedy spoke to the Americans in Washington, DC about his multiple life as 35th President of the United States, a rock and roll musician in the 1970's, and now as a Hollywood movie actor in the late 1970's. He explained in Washington, DC that his personal life was hard as the President, and it got better during the 1970's when he became a musician and eventually a Hollywood movie actor in the late 1970's, and how he still struggles to this day about his past problems as the 35th President. In February 1979, John F Kennedy got his name on a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In August 1979, John F Kennedy played in another documentary movie titled "John F Kennedy: Rock and Roll Forever". It was released in theaters on August 17, 1979 and came out on home entertainment in April 1980.
During the 1980's, John F Kennedy quit the movie business with a total of about 11 movies with Kennedy appearing in a few of them and a few documentaries towards the end of the 1970's. In 1985, John F Kennedy was featured on Saturday Night Live with guest star Richard Nixon. Nixon explained to Kennedy that he would have liked to be President of the United States when Kennedy was in office and told Kennedy that he should have run again in the future so that America would be great again. But, however, on January 20, 2017, it was reported on Sarcasm News Tonight that John F Kennedy came back to life when Former President Barack Obama blessed him at Arlington National Cemetery and supposedly "rescued him from his grave" and Donald Trump was inaugurated that afternoon as the 45th President of the United States in Washington, DC. On that day, Kennedy told his old friend Donald J. Trump that he would always help Trump with the work on making America great again and once again serve as Vice President of the United States as opposed to Mike Pence in 2017. But John F Kennedy told Trump that afternoon that he got a second chance to live again until his second life is over and he would continue his existence up in Heaven and look down on the Americans and the Greater America in the far future.
In 1992, John F Kennedy announced to the people in Washington, DC that he would help America reunite with Cuba after the Cuban Missile Crisis of the 1960's during his Presidency. The former leader of Cuba named Fidel Castro denied Kennedy's response on building a bridge from Florida to Cuba because he was angry at Kennedy for starting the Missile Crisis in the early 1960's. Former President John F Kennedy decided to hold the proposal for a Florida-Cuba Bridge until the relationship of the United States with Cuba was reinstated in 2017. In 1995, Kennedy had a conference with Former President Ronald Reagan about making America great again, but Reagan was not sure about what would happen to Mother America if then-real estate developer Donald Trump would become the President of the United States in the near future, because he thought that it would be a threat to Americans after Reagan was hoping for then-first lady Hillary Clinton to become President by 2016, so Reagan considered waiting for the Bridge to Cuba proposal until relationship of the United States and Cuba would be reunited in the future.
When Former President George W Bush took over office in 2001, Kennedy stated to Bush that America was in danger of being attacked, because of the terrorists of Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, but Bush didn't listen or respond to Kennedy about this, because he wasn't sure that anything like that would ever happen. On September 11, 2001, when the World Trade Center in New York City was blown up, George W Bush wanted to transfer all troops to the Pentagon in Washington, DC; however, the Pentagon was as well bombed during 9/11 and Kennedy announced that the World Trade Center Site would have to be rebuilt and protected by armed military forces, but then-President George W Bush explained to Kennedy that armed military forces on the World Trade Center Site would probably not be necessary, because Bush was more concerned about rebuilding the World Trade Center Site and the Twin Towers. In November 2001, Former President John F Kennedy announced in The White House that a new World Trade Center was necessary, but he felt that armed military forces would not be required on the site due to the new Twin Towers looking much different than they were before they were blown up during 9/11. So Kennedy announced at a speech in The White House that the World Trade Center Site would have to be rebuilt, but the site did not need any military troops because the new plans for the World Trade Center Site differed very much from the original towers.
In 2004, John F Kennedy explained to then-President George W Bush that a new World Trade Center Site was already considered, and Kennedy explained to Bush that armed military forces were not necessary for the new World Trade Center Site anymore, because he didn't want any crime to be happening at the site for New York City as a result to the people of Manhattan during Kennedy and Bush's conference at the Trump Towers in midtown Manhattan. In 2007, John F Kennedy decided to retire from helping America's people because he was getting too old and he wanted future President elect Donald Trump to take over office once George W Bush and Barack Obama would leave office. John F Kennedy trusted his longtime friend Donald J. Trump to make America great again due to his age and his current Presidents not giving support to the Vietnam troops. In 2012, then-President Barack Obama announced to John F Kennedy at The White House that he would not support Donald Trump because he was concerned at the time when the American economy was struggling and going under an economic recession in the early 2010's, so he tried to accept Kennedy's opinion on Donald Trump taking over office in 2017. In 2016, John F Kennedy announced that he was a Trump supporter, but he originally supported Hillary Clinton because she was a woman, and he was not trying to be sexist, but he felt that Donald Trump's plans for a wall on the Mexican border would help America from illegal immigration, but he only disagreed that it would only make things worse for immigrants because they would no longer come to the United States and he was also concerned that Mexico would not remain part of America's Allies anymore.
On November 8, 2016, Donald J. Trump won the election with about a few votes behind Hillary Clinton, but won unexpectedly. Hearing this, Kennedy was proud for America's freedom and imagined a new America where everyone can be free and that Donald Trump won the election.
On January 20, 2017, moments before Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States, Former President Barack Obama arrived in Washington, DC and announced at a speech that he would do the favor to resurrect Former President John F Kennedy due to the positive status of the American economy after the economic recession of the early 2010's, and he supposedly rescued John Fitzgerald Kennedy from his grave and did the Sign of the Cross on Kennedy's body. After that, Obama brought Kennedy's body in The White House and blessed John F Kennedy's spirit with holy water and broke some holy bread and shoved it in Kennedy's mouth and the spirit of John F Kennedy became eternal because of Former President Obama's call to God about John F Kennedy's resurrection. When Former President Obama came out of The White House with a group of priests, the priests put John F Kennedy into a casket and closed it up, and when they got outside of The White House, the priests opened up the casket and John F Kennedy officially resurrected for the sake of society. When John F Kennedy opened up his eyes for the first time in 53 years, he saw life around him and realized that he had a second life thanks to our hero Former President Barack Obama for saving his life again and wishing John F Kennedy a good second life. When John F Kennedy got up for the first time in 53 years, he walked over to the speech table and explained to the people of America, "I am John F Kennedy. I have come back to life by the miracle of God and the request of Mother America in its times of chaos. I announce on this beautiful Friday afternoon that I have risen from the above by our American Lord President Barack Obama. And I am grateful to announce today that I salute Donald Trump to make America great again. During America's Golden Age when many people were 'hippies' and people were driving hip cars, they said to me, 'O Father Kennedy, will you please truly help America become a better place to be for most of us Americans and make our country safe for our Allies again.' So I Father Kennedy granted my Americans' wish to make America great again, but I lost my chance to keep America great because unfortunately my life was cut short by a deranged man with a gun who almost tried to kill me. But that didn't necessarily mean that America wasn't getting better; it just meant that My Country Tis' of Thee was still our Sweet Land of Liberty, of thee I sing. America was nothing but a land where our fathers died, it was a land of the pilgrims' pride from every mountainside. Let freedom ring for our country and keep the spirit of Liberty in the hearts of America forever. And that is just what we did. But that's not all. Our new president elect Donald J. Trump will still make America great again and work for office simultaneously with me John F Kennedy. I feel much younger than I did over 53 years ago. And now I have come back to life all thanks to the miracle of God and my people believing in me. And because the people believed in me and our former President Barack Obama saved me and gave me eternal powers because of God, I am now eternal and I will keep America great again and make our country safe for Americans. So I say to Donald Trump on this historic day, 'Make America Great Again!', so God Bless America! God Bless You Donald J. Trump! Amen".
So Former President John F Kennedy finished his speech in Washington, DC at The White House and explained to his people about his new life before he would rise up to the heavens in the far future. "I am President John F Kennedy, and I have a lot of words to say to America. Donald Trump is going to be elected as President of the United States today and I will live my life the best I can before my second life is over. And so I say to my people, thank you all for believing in me and making all my dreams of being alive again come true. I am now part of God and He who will watch upon me while I live in harmony. I now have a spare life all thanks to God and all the people who have come here today to celebrate the day that I awoke from my 53 year slumber in the Heavens. I will die again someday when I am ready and God calls for me again once more and God will whisper in my ear that it is my time again to be a part of God and look down at My Country 'Tis of Thee while I become an angel again many more years from now as I have an alternate life of peace for the United States of America. This does not mean that it will be the end of my journey yet; nevertheless, it will mean that I will continue my journey above the Heavens and enjoy my time as I live today until I enjoy the final parts of my existence in Heaven. I thank the Lord for being here today as I say goodbye to the old America and begin my day as a new and greater America. So in this case, make America great again, Donald Trump. God Bless the USA. Amen".
As the crowd outside The White House applauded Kennedy's new speech in Washington, DC today, our new President Donald Trump promised to Kennedy and his new people that he would make America great again. And he welcomed his old friend John F Kennedy to the Real World, and said that Kennedy can't do it alone, so Trump said to Kennedy that he would help Former President John F Kennedy make America great again, and also keep the United States united forever. As Trump went into the 2017 Presidential Election Limousine, he signed a treaty that would help give funding to Mother America's future projects, such as making more states in the Union, building a bridge from Florida to Cuba following Fidel Castro's death, legalizing same-sex marriage in the United States, building another bridge from the Bering Sea to the Siberian Peninsula in Russia to help exports get delivered into the United States and for Americans to go to other countries by car and also for trucks to carry things into Russia without interrupting our Allies, plans to rebuild the South Tower of Two World Trade Center, and a new bridge across the Long Island Sound in Oyster Bay, NY. These are many of Donald Trump's new plans to make America great again, and it just got even better! As Trump finished his speech in Washington, DC today, he got into the 2017 Presidential Election Inauguration Limousine and set off to The White House to begin his presidential term. Former President John F Kennedy said that he would be the Vice President so that the President Donald Trump would not work alone and he would also have an old friend to help make America great again with. So John F Kennedy got up from riding with new President Donald Trump in the 2017 Cadillac Presidential Election Inauguration Limousine and closed the doors and ran up to the speech table and reached for the microphone and planned out his final speech. Kennedy said to the American people the following, "President Trump has stated that he can't make America great again alone, so I have decided to help Trump with making America a greater country so that President Trump won't have to work alone, and he'll have an old friend to talk to and make America great again with. So now Mother America, I have decided that I am now the new Vice President of the United States of America, 'John F Kennedy for America'. Thank you America! What a beautiful country! I salute you Mother America! God Bless the USA! Let freedom ring from sea to shining sea! Thank You! Amen!".
As Kennedy finished his speech outside The White House, he announced to his people as the Vice President of America the following, "Thank You for coming here today. I have officially saluted the American people the way it's supposed to be. So as I thank you all for coming today, I will tell all of you Americans that I am now off to The White House! Thank You America! Make America Great Again! Amen!". As Kennedy finished his final speech outside The White House, he waved his hands to the people of America and shook their hands. Former President and Future Vice President John F Kennedy walked outside The White House and went inside the building in order to help President Donald Trump. Future Vice President John F Kennedy walked into The White House and shook President Trump's hands and said to his new friend, "Pleased to meet you Mr. Trump. I support your plan to make America great again! Thank You Mr. Trump!". As Former President John F Kennedy greeted his New President Donald J. Trump, he shook his hands, wished him good luck, said to Donald J. Trump "Happy Inauguration Day!", and started his work as Vice President of the United States in his office at The White House and signed the American papers! As Kennedy finished signing the American papers, the people in Washington, DC outside The White House cheered for the New President and the return of Mother America's Greatest President herself, "John F Kennedy". So the New President Donald J. Trump said in his new words in the office, "Make America Great Again! Hallelujah! Amen! God Bless the USA!" and all the people in Washington, DC cheered outside The White House because a new President for Mother America was inaugurated, and that the Greatest American President herself, "John F Kennedy" returned from his 53 year long temporary sleep from under his temporary grave at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington, DC. Later that day, the citizens of America at Washington, DC cheered for America's greatest President herself "John F Kennedy", and had a private party at The White House for all the Americans who attended the long speech for New President Donald J. Trump and the long-awaited return of the Greatest American President herself, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. So later that night, all the Americans partied like it was 1999 and partied all night long! So John F Kennedy has finally come back to life all thanks to the miracle of God! So it is reported that if you are religious and believe in God himself, God will answer your call and help you solve your problems! So follow God himself and don't pay attention to the bad things happening in the World or the Devil Satan himself. So that ends the story of the Old America and a new beginning for Mother America and the new story of how America became great again!
Some speculators from The New York Times had already stated that this is crazy business for the real world, but there will be proof next on whether or not John F Kennedy has resurrected from his grave! It was reported last Saturday evening that The New York Times had apologized for their doubt on the revival of the legacy of America's greatest President herself, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and a bonus recent article from The New York Times also mentioned about John F Kennedy's resurrection that our new President Donald J. Trump was truly going to make America great again! And The New York Times also concluded that America would finally be great again in 4 years when Trump's first term is over, and John F Kennedy would say to the people that America was great again all thanks to Donald J. Trump and the official resurrection of John Fitzgerald Kennedy himself. So today we find out if John F Kennedy had finally resurrected in the wake of society. If this is true then the speculators would have been correct that John F Kennedy survived after over 53 years of being unconscious in his "so-called" grave. The news has become viral as of late January 2017! Next week it will be announced in The White House on whether John F Kennedy is back to life all thanks to the miracle of God and the official consideration of Mother America's future, and new Vice President John F Kennedy will serve in for current nominee Mike Pence so that America can be even greater than before! And America will be great again all thanks to the miracle of God, the official resurrection of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Former President Barack Obama, New President Donald J. Trump, and the faith of the American people in America's hard times of chaos. Now that our 35th President John F Kennedy is back and still young, and the American economy is now thriving all thanks to the new President Donald Trump, the new Vice President John Fitzgerald Kennedy instead of Mike Pence, and our Americans, America is once again great and will continue to be the greatest country in the world. So it was all thanks to Former President Barack Obama, Eternal Living John F Kennedy, New President Donald Trump, and our loyal Americans for making America great again! John F Kennedy said to The New York Times that "it all couldn't have been done without the miracle of God, the faith of Former President Barack Obama, the wisdom of New President Donald J. Trump, and our loyal Americans to bring me back to life again. I am very happy today to be here on this historic day to welcome the world to Greater Mother America. God Bless the USA and have a Happy Inauguration Day! Amen!". So that's all for tonight! See you next time on Sarcasm News Tonight!
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The End
Matty Iannielli