Hello again! Welcome back to Sarcasm News Tonight! Tonight on our report we have a breaking news report coming live from New York City. It is reported in downtown Manhattan that the World Trade Center is standing well as it has been since 1972. It is reported today that the people of the September 11 attacks have been resurrected! Today we report after 2 months from the tragic day that the people of 9/11 have been resurrected! It has already been 14 years since the first Crash Day. Do you know what Crash Day is? Well, it is the anniversary of the unrealistic attacks. It is breaking news for America that the people working in the towers have resurrected after 14 years of disappearing from the face of the Earth! It is reported today that the people from the unrealistic day have finally been resurrected!
It was a day that was the same as any other day in Manhattan, and the towers were standing tall. Around 8:30 AM on that day, a plane came by. Suddenly, Jesus Christ came down from above and poured sarcasm acid on the towers, and the World Trade Center temporarily turned into plastic towers. A few minutes later, the plane flew above the towers, passing by the World Trade Center. Around 9:30 AM on that day, another plane came by, and also passed by the towers. Around 10:45 AM, the sarcasm acid dissolved from the towers and turned the plastic from the towers back to its original shape. For about 2 hours, Jesus Christ evacuated all the workers and people inside the buildings before he poured the sarcasm acid on the buildings, which turned the buildings into plastic. Jesus took them to Heaven's Gates and had a little chat with them along with God Almighty, Mother Mary, Elvis Presley, and Frankenstein. He told them that they had a big life ahead of them, and told them to watch out for planes. So Jesus gave them some holy water and took them down the Stairway to Heaven returning down to Earth, and played the classic Led Zeppelin rock and roll song "Stairway to Heaven" on 78 RPM Record Disc while they were walking down the stairs. At around 2:00 PM that day, they returned to Earth, meanwhile with a few other planes flying above and passing by the towers, and smiled in pride. Around 4:00 PM that afternoon, some more planes passed by the other World Trade Center towers, but Jesus Christ already put sarcasm acid on the other towers. The planes passed by the other towers, unaware that Jesus put the acid on the towers, and passing by in peace.
In August 2013, the World Trade Center towers transformed into a brand new design so that they could look more modern. They became new twin towers with new designs. The North Tower (1 WTC) became a green colored building, kind of like the Statue of Liberty, and formed a more triangular shape. The South Tower (2 WTC) became a tall building with 4 diamond shaped windows on the top of the tower. By now, they looked exactly like they do today, but much more progress than right now, sarcastically!
On September 11, 2015, the people working at the World Trade Center resurrected from the sarcastic attack, which is sometimes confused with the real life towers for some reason. The people working in the towers resurrected in real life, and the World Trade Center was opened for business! This is how the event turned out in the end, and God Almighty and Jesus Christ declared world peace for New York City!
So anyway, the people of the sarcastic attack have been resurrected in the wake of society! The news has officially become viral in New York City and America because many people have actually believed it from a report coming from Jesus Christ on ABC News. It was reported on ABC News that Jesus Christ saved all the people from almost being killed. Jesus told the news reporters that he rebuilt the towers faster than in real life, saved the people, and saved America! The people told the reporters that they couldn't have done it without Jesus Christ, our Lord!
So, this is all for tonight from Sarcasm News Tonight. I hope you have a sarcastic day! See you next time on Sarcasm News Tonight!
This report has been a proud production of Sarcastic Productions and SNT.
(C)2015 Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C)2015 Sarcastic Productions Inc.
The End
Matty Iannielli
It was a day that was the same as any other day in Manhattan, and the towers were standing tall. Around 8:30 AM on that day, a plane came by. Suddenly, Jesus Christ came down from above and poured sarcasm acid on the towers, and the World Trade Center temporarily turned into plastic towers. A few minutes later, the plane flew above the towers, passing by the World Trade Center. Around 9:30 AM on that day, another plane came by, and also passed by the towers. Around 10:45 AM, the sarcasm acid dissolved from the towers and turned the plastic from the towers back to its original shape. For about 2 hours, Jesus Christ evacuated all the workers and people inside the buildings before he poured the sarcasm acid on the buildings, which turned the buildings into plastic. Jesus took them to Heaven's Gates and had a little chat with them along with God Almighty, Mother Mary, Elvis Presley, and Frankenstein. He told them that they had a big life ahead of them, and told them to watch out for planes. So Jesus gave them some holy water and took them down the Stairway to Heaven returning down to Earth, and played the classic Led Zeppelin rock and roll song "Stairway to Heaven" on 78 RPM Record Disc while they were walking down the stairs. At around 2:00 PM that day, they returned to Earth, meanwhile with a few other planes flying above and passing by the towers, and smiled in pride. Around 4:00 PM that afternoon, some more planes passed by the other World Trade Center towers, but Jesus Christ already put sarcasm acid on the other towers. The planes passed by the other towers, unaware that Jesus put the acid on the towers, and passing by in peace.
In August 2013, the World Trade Center towers transformed into a brand new design so that they could look more modern. They became new twin towers with new designs. The North Tower (1 WTC) became a green colored building, kind of like the Statue of Liberty, and formed a more triangular shape. The South Tower (2 WTC) became a tall building with 4 diamond shaped windows on the top of the tower. By now, they looked exactly like they do today, but much more progress than right now, sarcastically!
On September 11, 2015, the people working at the World Trade Center resurrected from the sarcastic attack, which is sometimes confused with the real life towers for some reason. The people working in the towers resurrected in real life, and the World Trade Center was opened for business! This is how the event turned out in the end, and God Almighty and Jesus Christ declared world peace for New York City!
So anyway, the people of the sarcastic attack have been resurrected in the wake of society! The news has officially become viral in New York City and America because many people have actually believed it from a report coming from Jesus Christ on ABC News. It was reported on ABC News that Jesus Christ saved all the people from almost being killed. Jesus told the news reporters that he rebuilt the towers faster than in real life, saved the people, and saved America! The people told the reporters that they couldn't have done it without Jesus Christ, our Lord!
So, this is all for tonight from Sarcasm News Tonight. I hope you have a sarcastic day! See you next time on Sarcasm News Tonight!
This report has been a proud production of Sarcastic Productions and SNT.
(C)2015 Sarcasm News Tonight.
(C)2015 Sarcastic Productions Inc.
The End
Matty Iannielli